All Doula relationships are unique. Below are some of the more common ways that doulas can help:
Act as host and general facilitator. At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.
The objective is 'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'.
A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. www.deathcafe.com/what
Card-based game offerings to help assist in starting the discussions around end-of-life wishes in a relaxed, comfortable, and funny atmosphere.
You can absolutely laugh while talking about death and end-of-life!
Helps people understand anticipatory grief in everyday life as well as working towards it in your grief for other aspects of life -- grief for those you have lost, grief for what you will yourself experience as you become closer to your own death.
Also known as Advanced Directive. What specifically do you want done (or not done) if aggressive medical attention is necessary to prolong life or you have a terminal illness? This is not the same as a DNR as this provides specifics in the escalation/de-escalation of care.
What do you want your loved ones to know?
This can be a combined letter or a collection of private notes.
Legacy work can also include projects such as: journal, letters, quilt, photo collage, painting, scholarships, hand casting, etc.
Recorded interview. You receive a copy of the meeting (typically held online) so that you may share it with people. It can be transcribed, video, or audio.
Workshop where individuals pen letters introducing themselves to an individual that they have not yet met -- Death.
What would you want Death to know about you in order to make the most of your initial meeting?
This is not the obituary that you would typically see in the newspaper. This obituary is what you want people to know about you, what was important to you, how you saw yourself, and what you found important.
Who will make decisions for you in the event that you are no longer able to do so (for whatever reason)? Do they know what you want? Are they aware of your resuscitation preferences?
This is what someone would like done for/to them and around them while they are actively dying.
Documenting specifically what you want done with your body, and any related celebrations, once you have died. This also might include choices for readings, music, flowers, memorial, etc.
This can actually be a really fun and personal discussion because there are lots of options that many people are unaware of.
This allows individuals to talk through what they experienced before, during, and after the death of their loved one.